For those who have noticed, or will now notice, Kai has another biggest fan. For the past six years I have struggled when people ask how many children I have. I haven't wanted people to think that I seeking sympathy, so I haven't always included him in the growing tally. That is until recently. Kai has been talking a lot about his big brother and it hit me how unfair it is to not include Peyton. Another reason is I am starting to forget and I don't want to. I also want everyone to know about my sweet baby boy and what he has done for our family.
To start, on February 17, 2003 I found out I was pregnant with my second child. We were all very excited and were hoping Ainsley would have a little brother. On June 10th, two days before my 20 week ultrasound, my water broke. I still remember when the nurse confirmed this and that it didn't look good. Babies that early just can't survive. Jeremy and I were absolutely devastated. However, there was a small glimmer of hope. I had not lost all of my fluid and could go home on strict bed rest. To even have a chance at survival he needed to wait at least four more weeks. Deep down I think I knew we wouldn't make it that long. A week later on Thursday June 19th we went in for an ultrasound to check my fluid levels. I looked at the screen and knew there was nothing left. I was told there was no chance he would make it. We asked my doctor to give us the weekend to talk things over and Jeremy and I went home to cry and pray. The next day soon after I got home from picking out his burial outfit, I went into labor on my own. On June 22, 2003 at 3:20 p.m. Daniel "Peyton" Wynkoop was born alive. A true answer to my many prayers. He lived for an hour and a half, and just after his daddy gave him a name and a blessing, he passed away. I have never felt so at peace as I did that day. I believe that Peyton had a mission and he was able to fulfill it in the short time he was with us. He taught Jeremy and I so much and if it weren't for him I don't think we would be able to make it through this trial with Kai. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about and miss him.
So from now on when people ask me how many children I have my response will be,"Five, one of whom is watching over us from Heaven." After all he did live and I know he will live again some day.
Below is a video I made of the photos taken the day he was born. Just be sure to pause the music player at the bottom of the page.
3 comments:
Jess, my heart still aches for you when I think about how it all happened. I can't even imagine nor do I want to know how hard that was. Your strength amazed me. What a perfect little guy he was.
Jessica and Jeremy, I just want you guys to know how much we love you. I still regret not being there for you more during that difficult time. I just didn't realize how devastating it was for you and I apologize. You guys are so strong and I know that you will make it through whatever trials you face. You are always in my prayers. I'm sure that Peyton is very proud of you both.
Jessica, Your video was so touching. First off, I am so sorry for your loss. That is a difficult loss. I am happy for you that you were able to get so many photos and enjoy that precious time with him before he passed. I lost twin boys at 25 1/2 weeks in July of 2005. They were the same size as your angel Peyton. Thank you for sharing this video. It is so touching. I hope you are well.
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